Activities · «Sadness and Love»
The emotional swing
A simple way to tell how we feel and what we need: company in sadness, or help to enjoy things again.
What is it for?
When we miss someone, there are moments when we need to cry, feel anger or receive a hug, and others when we want to play, laugh and enjoy life.
Both sides of the swing are legitimate. We can move from one to the other depending on what we need, without having to stay in sadness or feel guilty for enjoying ourselves. Laughing doesn't mean loving the person we miss any less.
How to do it
Invite the child to point with a finger to the side of the swing where they feel they are now. They don't need to explain it in words: pointing is already a way of telling you how they are.
If it is hard to find words, ask: «Where do you notice what you feel: tummy, throat, chest?» Pointing to a part of the body also counts.
Then ask: «Would you like me to keep you company here, or do you feel like moving to the other side?»
If they need to be in sadness, keep them company with your presence, by listening or giving a hug if they want one. If they feel like enjoying themselves, help them find something they would like to do: play together, go out for a while or share a pleasant moment.
They can change sides whenever they need to. There is no need to force them or to stay on just one.
What can the child experience or learn?
They discover that they can express what they feel and ask for what they need without having to find the words. The swing becomes a simple way of communicating with the adult.
They also learn that they can miss someone, be sad and, at the same time or at other moments, enjoy life again. They don't have to choose between continuing to love the person they have lost and allowing themselves happy moments.
We adults learn to keep them company on both sides: holding their sadness when they need to feel it and helping them recover enjoyment when they feel like it. Without rushing them, but also without assuming that, because they are sad, they are not ready to play or laugh.
A proposal to share without hurry. There is no need to finish the activity or to talk more than the child wants. Listen to what they communicate and respect their pace, also when they change sides.
This activity keeps company, but does not replace the help of a professional when a child needs it. When to look for help.
Carry on with another activity
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